Hi people/aliens/monsters/whatever! I haven't been updating my blog for dayssssssss. I'm not dead okay. Reason why is because I went out of Bangkok! Yeah guess where? Nakhon Nayok & Pattaya! Hahaha. Went to NN on Monday. Played the ATV. Its like the Survivor show y'know. Drove over all the mud, the water and went to feed deers! Lol. Got down & dirty. Ahh, I had to much fun till I forgot the pictures. :( BUT I have pictures for others. *drums rollllll* ding ding ding

& tadaaaaaaa Anu brought me to the dam & the Nang Rong Waterfall after. Nice right the place?! haha! If you were expecting pictures of me, its all in facebook! Went back to the resort, took a short nap. Yeah I was tired! Night falls and then went drinking with Anu & Golf. LOL we drank Hong Thong. Pictures again? YEAH.

I know, they mixed it with lotsa soda. Soda madness. But its only 10bht for 1 bottle of it! 

 

Anu & Golf. Like brothers only

Yeah & Golf promised to drive around 80mph when we're heading back THEN in the end hit 140mph. He still can laugh. -.- Lol oh and I vomited cause I was too full. I even skipped dinner. Bloated from lunch and my tummy doesn't wanna work. 2nd day, went to play the waterfall! No pictures for that. Why? Cause I'm busy playing rightttttt. Hahahaha no time to camwhore! But I did, when we're eating by the water. :P Oh I was starving mad so the food is (Y).

Yeah the Tom Yum nice okay! Plus the fried chicken and the pork. yummehhhhh. :P

Went back to resort again, rest rest rest. Then night head out to drink again. But this time round we went in motorbikes. Usual place to drink. Then, I felt hungry so we had supperrrr @ one really beautiful place. Damn relax only. We call it mukatak. Hahahahah. Like bbq. Yes I have pictures!

Felt bloated after that! Hahaha Food food fooood. Seriously I told myself to be on a vegetable-only-diet when I come to Thailand. But how to resist good food?!?!? So, after supper went rounding then head back to resort. By the time I only had 1 hr of sleep, before heading to Pattaya. It's Wednesday by then. Supposedly to leave @ 5am. But we're late sooo left around 6 I guess? Didn't do time check. Got there probably @ bout 8am? 2 hrs of drive. that was the day I had the most fun! Hahaha. I played the banana boat & the jet ski. Awesome ttm. I didn't had pictures with me on them, because im too busy enjoying rightttttttt. But still, I got their pictures w/o me. :(

When you  hop on, there wouldn't be a chance where you wouldn't fall off the boat. Yeah. The people would make you capsize and fall. Hahahah that's the fun part!

This is the best part. Had so much fun on it, but had it capsized when doing a swift turn with the huge wave hitting at the same time. SO destroyed it. Hahaha paid for the dmg, lesson learnt. But afterall, its still fun!! 

End of the day, had lotsa fun. But I was disappointed I got tanned. Uneven tan to be precise. Arghhhhhhh. My dad came around evening, went for dinner @ Sizzler. Finally satisfied my baked potato craving. Yummeh. Food again, right?! I know. But who cares when I'm happy. Hehe. No pictures for this one, was mad starving. Forgot all about it! Hahhaa. Plus I left my camera in daddy's car. So yeah... :( After dinner went to the famous Walking Street of Pattaya. Once again.... haha! Saw the Bull thingy. I don't know what's it called but Anu had fun on it HAHA. He lasted for like, 30+ secs. Totally beat my score sia. Can ah. Went back to Bangkok after, dad drove. Pattaya to Bkk is supposed to be like 3hrs estimated. But my daddy got back in like what, an hour?! I was sleeping lah, but Anu said my dad was driving at 180mph. Madness........ Ok thank god I was SLEEPING. Yeah that's why I said, whenever my dad drive must put seatbelt LOL. Ok so reached home upload photos, sleep. Tired already ahhhh. Next day supposed to meet Dessy & Wei Liang @ 12noon. Hahahha but I overslept! As usual. Actually, I was woken up but I went back to sleep. Ahhhh. Bad habit, I know. I prioritize my sleep. So got up at 3pm, called Des. Got ready, cabbed to Platinum with Anu & met Des + WL there. Was hunting for my top BUT failed. So gave up, walked down towards Phantip Plaza, down the alley & tadaaaaaaa food again :P 

 Damn delicious right, plus we had beer. Bloated again....

Des & WL. Hahaha and Dessy's retarded face, AS USUAL.

Its a beautiful place. They had Karaoke so we actually sang after our dinner. Hahha. Oh there's a billard table outside so they played snooker.

Loser punch? No. Loser drink. Guess that night we had abit too much of alcohol huh? Haha

Ok after we're done, we STILL HAVEN'T GO BACK. To our respective places lah. Guess where we went? We walked down towards Baiyoke sky. Did a little shopping @ the night market. Hehe. Then we settled down at this place.

Its a mobile bar kinda thing. Its beautiful ok.

Its DAMN RELAXING. & their songs, (Y)! Oh we continued to drink...... yeah with my bloated tummy. But no beer for me this time round. I had Tequila! Hahaha. The 3 of them spam beer like free flow only. WL was dying then baddie Dessy + Anu kept teasing him. They like desperately want him to get drunk LOL. And I'll never forget how crazy they were. Hahahahhaa. Fun night we had. Cabbed home @ arnd 1am. Then I finally vomited. See la, even my bf say I gey gan. Who ask me to drink non-stop after having a bloated tummy?! Yeah but after that felt better la. & won't fat also. Hehe. :P Called boyf for awhile. Was so worried ah actually. Sigh. Everytime I think of him, I really sad ah. Though he never leaves my mind for even a day. I hope everything will be ok. Everything will be alright. That he will be safe and sound! No news from him till now. Can't stop thinking you know.

Anyway, my babygirllll is so sweet. She actually tried calling me everyday. Thank you baby. Hehe. I know that sometimes time & distance would make people drift apart. People who I was once close with, might probably forget me by the time I'm back. Like how the saying goes, "The new one comes, the old one goes". This suck right, I know. But that's life. That's reality. Then I would tell myself, people like them are not worth getting depressed over. They don't deserve my patronage in the first place, so just take it as a lesson learnt, yeah Dorisa? So today, I'm home alone. For few hours la. Though my mum whole day out. Daddy was asking me out for dinner but I refused cause I was lazy. Standard! HAHA. Asked him to get smth for me to eat, and he didn't want to cause I don't wanna accompany him. Lol. Thought would be having maggi mee for dinner BUT MY DADDY CAME BACK WITH FOOOOOD.Yeah food again. I was starving lah, and good thing I haven't cooked! Ok so this post is long enough. Think I'm gonna stop already. Dear readers please don't die okay? I'll try to update often! ^^

 Hiiiii. I went Fashion Island with my daddy yesterday. I got 3 different colours of contact lenses hehehe. I'm soooo loving the blue. Then I went to Platinum Mall today. Its really hard to find the stuffs that my friends wanted. Argh. I can't even find the top that I want! Soo had dinner and went home. Tiring okay. Hmmm. Will be going back there tomorrow and I will sincerely, once again, start to hunt for my top. I want it so bad!!!!!!! Ok, church tomorrow. Gotta turn in early today. Bye sweethearts. <3

Went ice skating today! awesome awesome awesome max. Ahhhhh <3 hahahaha. Wanna see which cute female I went with?

Cute right? I know. Haha! Okay I didn't edit the picture at all, just so you know. I know you dislike the quality, shucks right?! :( It was taken with an iTouch sooooo yeah. After the fun we went to feast at Fuji. Mhmmm, Japanese food. ^^ No pictures for this one though. Too hungry to remember to even take pictures. But then, still I don't have the intention to anyway. :P

So been having random thoughts at home and was asking myself, how long is our honeymoon period? I wish it'll last till the skies fall down.

Sooo I'm back to blogging on request. Ya actually I admit I'm quite a lazy person but, I still can make the effort to blog la. Cannot neglect right?! :P Yeah been sick for the past few days, suspect it was the Songkran I went to. The fun there can never be compared to what's like in Singapore during festive seasons....really. I got drenched completely again and again by the water hose, mini watergun fights, and the ice that was being used. Ahhhhh, though I got sick but it was fun. Definitely would come again next year, while building up my immune system for now hehe. So on Sunday I got terribly sick, that I got high fever and I just literally slept the whole day at home oh + night. Was supposed to go ice skating, disappointed had to give it a miss. So, my fever went down in a day. I think my sleeping power helps LOL. Okay, but the flu stays. Somehow its just that stubborn maybe it loves me too much it doesn't wanna let go. So yeah, it caused me to cough uncontrollably and intolerably. So much that, I have tummy cramps when I woke in the morning. I hope by this I can gain my pacs ah LOL. Been working hard to exercise the tummy muscles just to cough. Argh, terrible feeling. Anyway, called Anu up and he's like damn far away la. Might be going to find him on Thurs, and definitely won't be missing alcohol. :P SOOOOO I hope to get well by then. Oh & finally, I'm doing my hair tomorrow as usual. Hahaha! This time I'm gonna dye it black. Have the innocent school girl look ah ^^ its requested by boyfriend anyway, if not I would have dyed it pink. Like trending now only. Tsk. OH ya, I actually lost weight when I was sick but sadly only by 1kg. I wanna lose 4kg more hopefully! :) I promise pictures as soon as I get my card reader! will blog again. tata!

It's been almost a day since I've been here. Been a little quiet trying to adapt not receiving calls or texts, but I'm thankful I still got bbm & what's app. I needa get my Thai sim like soon, really soon as soon as my daddy gets back. He's in Japan now I hope everything will be ok! I wouldn't be as bored when he's back too. Probably will meet Anu soon since he's in BKK too. Its the Songkran festival now and I wanna play! Supposed to go to Hua Hin to look for my cousins but uh, like quite troublesome so gave it a miss. I am so trying to get used to missing my boyfriend. Can't help but I think of him too much, like all the time. Never did I give myself a holiday that even when I dream I dreamt of him. No, I'm not trying to exaggerate but its just that I miss him that much. We tend to be afraid. In fact, i'm extremely afraid. I will hold on no matter what may happen and give all the love that I can, in hope and faith. Its not being naive, its just that I believe. Like how everything seems so dark and gloomy, he's like a beam so strong that it assures me. Its not a crush, not infatuation, not some extravagant passion. I love him.
I hope everyone else would be doing okay. I miss them too, priorities in life. They always say time would change everything. That feelings do too. Time will make one forget. But no, I won't. Sometimes though we're quite distant, you'll always be in heart. You do come across my mind most of the time, Pearlyn. Thought we seldom meet and I couldn't be with you all the time. And Felicia, you know I love you too. & I always will. :)

Hiiiiiiii. I've got so much things to rant about man. Dump all those emotional thoughts away for now. Firstly, my priority like always. Felicia Ng ahhh. Though we didn't meet I know time is tight. But you know sister, I'll always love you. Since I'm leaving, remember what I've always told you? I'll always be right in your heart. Don't feel sad and alone when i'm not here okay. I WILL MISS YOU SOO MUCH. I have to meet you as soon as I'm back in SG! I'm so happy today. Like really happy. I haven't felt like this for a really long time. You know they always says 'time will tell'. Time truly does show you who's worth and who's not. For all the time I've been down, I realize that my genuine friends are always around me. Its when moments seems the darkest and pewww superheroes came to the rescue! I'm really touched today. Its the first time, my clique of friends gave me a mini surprise knowing I'll be flying to Thailand in hours. Damn sweet. Sweet maximum ah! I'll never forget this day in my life. If anyone would ask, "what's your happiest day" and I'll definitely say its this day. Amazing. Sorry for being annoying, but I wanna thank yet again. Gladys, Darren, Wei Liang & Wei Qi thank you so much for the surprise! I love it. Seriously. ^^ And then, another person that's really important to me. My lovely boyfriend came down to look for me even though he's really really really sleeeepy like going die that kind ah. Hahaha. If you're going to see this one day, I want to let you know I love you. You know these simple 3 words means a lot ah. :) Ok. Enough of dedication. I'll be flying to Thailand @ 8pm. Excited, yet sad. I used to think, no one actually cares. Like no one bothers. That kinda stuffs. But I actually realized how important friendship really is now. Those who really, really stayed thru happy and sad moments, quarrels and etc. Basically, everything. I'll never forget them, no matter how time will change everything. I'll be happy that I have them by my side, that I shouldn't be such a pessimist already hehe. Though yes, I know who's true and not. Like I've always said, people are scary. Humans are. I'm contented with just these few. I don't ask for more man seriously. True friendships are never easy to find. How time flies. Dread it but yet waiting for time to pass faster. I don't wanna grow old, but there're still so many stuffs for me to do at a certain age. I don't care if you get what I mean haha like I said its my own personal rant :P I'M JUST SO HAPPY LA CAN. I'm not gonna sleep all the way. Like many random thoughts going through my mind only. Will blog again when I'm in Thailand.

This is the only place, where I can truly pour out my feelings. I couldn't control myself anymore. My emotions have run amok. Sometimes I cry out for help, I pleaded and pleaded. I really hope there's someone out there who could help me. Who could give me a helping hand, assure me and tell me that everything will be okay. A warm hug that chases all the problems away. All the sorrows and pain. Every day, every night all I do is cry. Cry and cry till my eyes got red and swollen. Till I felt the immense pain physically. Till I got tired. and I went to bed. No, no one will ever understand how I feel. How all this while i've acted strong. Strong enough to protect me on the surface. Strong enough till the barrier I created shuts everyone out, probably myself too. I feel like I'm in a cage. A cage I've been struggling to get out of. All I do is to struggle, struggle till i'm tired. Till tired I kept going on. I couldn't get free no matter how much I struggle. My heart feels like its burning, burning intensely. I feel like its been crumpled, its been crushed. I feel like I could no longer breathe. I felt so terrible, that terrible no longer becomes a word. I became so scared. So paranoid. I became so helpless, all of a sudden. I feel like no one's gonna help. No, they can't do a thing. They don't know me, they probably don't even know my story, let alone the title. They don't know a single shit. Yet all they do is criticize and criticize. They hurl words that abuses you mentally. Yes, words is enough to kill. Kill you emotionally and mentally. They are deadly weapons. They don't really care, how the fuck you feel. They exist for a reason. For karma to happen. They don't talk reason, they're not human. Shame on them, they don't live by principles. They roam around the Earth like animals. They make me paranoid. Paranoid of the word 'friends'. They walk silently and gives you deadly snares and words like arrows behind your backs. Yet they look so graceful, so perfect right in front of you. Fuck them. Fuck you, too. You who scold me dumb, you who scold me stupid. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. And you, you useless piece of shit, don't kill me. No. For what I did in the past, I was too naive. And how you scolded me now, 'stupid' for being naive. Thank you. Because you showed me all that I did wasn't worth my time. You let me know that I'm treating you too nice, and that I gave you love that you do not deserve. You taught me not to repeat the same mistakes again. You taught me how to be stronger, and smarter. You fool, you scolded me stupid because you thought I didn't know anything. Have you ever wondered, who the real fool is? Look in the mirror, cause all the while I pretended to close an eye. I'm thankful for so many things I couldn't possibly list them all. I will never love, and i'll fuck whoever that talks about it. For the scar has grown longer and bigger, that the heart is in a state of manifestation. Fuck you all who tells me how wonderful love is, how good you are and blah blah blah. No, no joke. Love is not in my dictionary. Don't come and tell me what love is. Fuck you. I know what my past is, and what i've been though. Don't fucking come and tell me, i'm stupid. Because you haven't gone through what I went through. You, bloody asshole, get this in that pea brain of yours. I survived through. And I will continue to. Fuck you losers who tries to bring me down. Even if you do, you're making me stronger. I will stand up everytime I fall, I swear.